Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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