She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
