Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
