Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize