i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have fence marks all over my body
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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