I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize