erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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