Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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