so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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