she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
