Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
