woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
In America we eat man semen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
