No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The uberlube is also flammable
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
