I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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