I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
