I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
