Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They took my balls.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize