Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
