Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
