i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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