I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize