K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
