Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
