kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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