Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
