You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
