i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
