Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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