Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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