Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
