do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's always time for handjobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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