As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
