marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
