you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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