help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
