I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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