I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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