The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
