Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
