the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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