went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize