Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
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