I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
