bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
