NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
