I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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