fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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