I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
