I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's rum buckets o'clock
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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