i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize