you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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