M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
