need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
