dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
