She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
