When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
