i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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