i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
